MY STORY
I caught the fitness ‘bug’ around the age of 16 when I started training seriously. Accruing more knowledge through reading health and fitness publications and reading up online about exercises, diet and workout programs. For about 3 or 4 years all was going well; capitalising on the adolescent, pubertal hormone surge, I had put on a fair amount of muscle mass for my frame and was fit and in good shape.
Around the age of 20 things started to go awry. I had begun to take my training more seriously and decided after a period of gaining muscle I was going to embark on a fat loss phase otherwise known as a ‘cut’. Following multiple sources and ‘experts’ advice I read online and in magazines, I was tracking and weighing out my food and working out 5 or 6 times per week.
I was completely absorbed in thoughts about training sessions, sets, reps, calories, fat, carbs, protein and water intake. Not once was I made aware of the hormonal implications of what I was doing. It seems with hindsight that in all the advice I followed, hormones and the effect that training and nutrition has on them was an afterthought or in most cases not even considered or mentioned at all.
A year later and things had rapidly gone from bad to worse. I had become obsessed with stripping body fat and getting ‘ripped’. I had lost a significant amount of weight and my training objective had shifted from weightlifting to cardio and circuit exercises, for their calorie burning effect. All I was focused on was achieving a ‘ripped’ look and getting as lean as I possibly could. It didn’t take long until I had descended to the depths of having developed a full-blown eating disorder.
I have always suffered with mental health problems, however by this point l had descended to the lowest depths yet. Multiple episodes of self harm followed, coupled with chronic health anxiety, depression and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. These mental behavioural patterns exacerbated my already dire physical situation and I was losing muscle mass at a vast rate. I continued in an almost zombie like state, weighing every morsel of food and tracking my weight daily, walking up the stairs required monumental effort. I carried on in this manner for just under a year before, weighing a mere 55 kilos, I went to my GP suffering from extreme fatigue, a non-existent libido and ever increasing anxiety.
She took some blood tests and sent me on my way. I received a call later in the week – my GP informed me that my Testosterone level was 3.2 mol/L (normal range for a healthy male 8.7 - 29). I was referred to an endocrinologist at once.
The endocrinologist reported that I was indeed extremely lean with “very little superficial fat”. He said that my Testosterone level was effectively that of a 70-year-old man. And so, I commenced an exhaustive series of tests; MRIs on my brain, CT scans on various organs in my body, extensive blood, and urine tests etc, looking for anything sinister that might be causing such a low Testosterone level. To my relief no organic cause could be found. Despite my low body weight, the endocrinologist said my level was the lowest he had ever seen in anyone without a brain tumour. It was his opinion that my intense exercise regimen, low bodyweight, low fat diet and chronic calorie deprivation had caused my hormone production to all but effectively shut down. I had completely neglected my hormones and was paying dearly for it. I was offered Testosterone Replacement Therapy but did not like the idea of relying on an exogenous form of Testosterone for an indefinite period of time and so I began looking for another way.
I knew I had to get well; I couldn’t continue in this state. So I started reading as much as possible about optimising my hormones naturally and slowly began improving my diet, supplementing with specific vitamins and minerals, lifting weights again this time with a focus on gaining ‘healthy’ weight. Of course it became another obsession albeit a more positive one this time. Make no mistake an eating disorder is a vicious beast, I had several relapses and took many backwards steps. I don’t think anyone who has suffered an eating disorder ever loses the hyperawareness regarding their food and calorie intake.
I continued having regular blood tests, slowly seeing improvement in my levels. In a year and a half I took my Testosterone level from 6.3 nmol/L (below reference range) to 30.6 nmol/L (outside reference range) a 5 x increase. My GP when she got the blood test results asked me whether I was taking steroids (I was pretty proud about that I must admit). By now my life had radically transformed. My weight was now in a normal range, I had managed to put on a decent amount of lean muscle, my energy was great, my confidence and outlook on the world was more positive, enthusiastic, optimistic. My libido had improved exponentially, I felt driven, focused and for the first time, more like a man.
Don’t get me wrong, I still struggle with my mental health on a daily basis, it’s an ongoing battle. I do however believe very strongly that in conjunction with working on the psychological side of treating these conditions ie therapy and so on, we must not neglect the physical side of treatment. Do not underestimate the improvement in mental condition that comes from improvement in physical condition. To say that improving my Testosterone was the best single thing I have done for my health, fitness and mindset is no exaggeration.
Godspeed,
Tom